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Consent in Speaking and Listening

The Wheel of Consent applies in all areas of life.  An example of where it can be useful is when one person is speaking and someone else is listening.  The Wheel of Consent as always brings clarity by asking the question: "Who is it for?"


For example, if I am lost and have asked you to give me directions, then your speaking is for me.  By contrast, if you are needing to offload after a long day, and I agree to listen while you do that, then your speaking is for you.  Getting clear on 'who is it for' can also help us notice when speaking is happening and it is not actually for either of us!


The diagram below is the 'Speaking/Listening Wheel' and is intended to bring clarity to situations where one is speaking and another is listening.  As an exercise, you might want to think of further examples relevant to your own life.

Speak Listen Wheel.jpg


In the interests of space, I haven't drawn a wheel on the diagram, but all the text in dark red, "giving unsolicited advice, pub bore, enduring being talked at, secretly eavesdropping" indicates 'shadows' of this Wheel - i.e. examples where speaking/listening is happening, but without consent.

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